Our need to belong is causing us more harm

We all want to be loved and appreciated and I believe that we are all loved and appreciated and we have families that love us dearly. We have to accept that it is difficult for some people to show and communicate their love to us and we may think that they do not love us when the truth is that we are loved by the people who find it difficult to communicate their love for us. I remember reading a quote a while ago that read, “the greatest need for any human is the need to be appreciated” and yes, we could all do with a bit more love and appreciation. Our need to belong is causing us more harm.

We are human

Our need to belong makes us human, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. No man is an island, we are all part of one another, we are all interwoven into each other. Yes, we belong to humanity. I have often wondered what people do when they face rejection, okay, let’s be honest here, rejection is never taken well because rejection is not lovely at all. Yes, I have faced rejection in situations where I thought I would be accepted and thought that I belonged. I thought I belonged because I believed I qualified. I was fitting but was that good enough for me to be accepted. Our need to belong is causing us more harm than letting go. Our need to belong is causing us more harm.

Can you always belong?

There were moments when we belonged and were well-fitting but then there comes a time when what qualified you is not enough anymore; this well means we have the need to constantly work on ourselves. When we have been in a system for a very long time and we deem that place our home and our sanctuary, we know we belong, we know the ins and outs of the system and when new people come, we are the ones responsible to welcome them. That is home and our place of safety. Can your place of safety be that for eternity? What could cause a place that has been your sanctuary for decades suddenly makes you feel like an invader even when you know you have done everything right? Sometimes life throws those moments in our way not to punish us but to grow us. When that suddenly happens, do you start finding fault within yourself? Do you question where you went wrong? These are all-natural reactions because this is a place we belong, our place of safety. What do you do?

Sanctuary

Sometimes our sanctuaries (place of safety) can suddenly be a place where we find no peace, a place where we feel unwelcomed. Our months and years of experience in the sanctuary can make us question our stance and sanity. Making us believe we have lost our way and hence we suddenly feel like we do not belong? What do we do when that happens to us? Our need to belong to a certain clique and place should not hold us hostage. Being held hostage by the need to belong might be detrimental to our wellbeing, arousing feelings of unworthiness which we may carry with to our next level of promotion or even be the very reason we are not moving to our next level of promotion. It is when we believe that we belong to a certain clique or sanctuary that we may cause harm to ourselves.

We are always loved and appreciated however what causes us harm is our need to be loved by certain and specific people and our need to belong to certain cliques and sanctuaries. Our destinies should not be tied to certain people and places. We can still be fruitful anywhere we are placed when we know our purpose.

Reflections

Has your need to belong caused delays in your life? Has your need to belong caused you harm? Do you recognize those that genuinely love and appreciate you versus those whom you want to belong to?