Dealing with Self-Inflicted Peer Pressure

My name is Masenyabu Charity Mogashoa known as Mrs. Dash. I am a wife and mother of 3 beautiful girls who work as a project specialist in a telecommunication company and enjoy managing projects, from small to big ones. I am passionate about building strong, healthy Godly families (Families in Love); and I also love cooking simple but great meals (Shhh, I only learned how to bake during the lockdown).
As we grow older, we are faced with some challenging decisions. Many factors influence our decision making; from short-term goals to long-terms ones. The influence mostly comes from our peers and social media, which creates a knock-off effect on our behavior, both directly and indirectly. However, despite the beliefs of many, this peer pressure is not always negative; sometimes it inspires you to do better. Dealing with Self-Inflicted Peer Pressure ad we are not even aware.

Initial Love agreements

When I got married, my husband and I had an agreement that we would live with his
parents while we work on our goal of acquiring a house. I was not working at that time and we had to work a little harder to afford a home. I had failed stagnant societal expectations of work first, get married, and then move into your own house. Essentially, I was a jobless wife, in my mid-twenties, living with the in-laws. The pressures of societal expectations had started kicking in. It was hard to look at other people’s lives and see the goals they had accomplished. My peers had been working for a while, had nice clothes and nice cars, and moved into apartments and houses after getting married.
Despite all my challenges, months later after I got married, I got an internship and was only getting a stipend. That allowed us to start working on our house. Dealing with Self-Inflicted Peer Pressure ad we are not even aware.

Goals Setting

Writing goals for the house helped with staying focused when I felt peer pressure pressing in – even if it was self-inflicted. I stayed on that internship, worked hard until I got a permanent position after three more months, I must add that this was because of the hard work and dedication that I displayed. It was then that we started seeing our goals and visions come to life. Dealing with Self-Inflicted Peer Pressure ad we are not even aware.

Who defines peer pressure

Though the pressures of being a young, newlywed couple that lives up to societal terms were coming at us in full force, I knew that “where there is no vision the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18) and my standards and goals were not benchmarked by the society.

Without setting goals (dreams for life), there will be no discipline. A person that has a vision and is excited about achieving a certain goal wants rules and guidelines in their life – simply because it helps them stay on track. Having a goal for every aspect of your life is important for growth. Write down what you want for yourself, who you want to be; in essence, write down your vision. This will help you identify life’s dreams, core values, and beliefs – which will consequently define your purpose. (Habakkuk 2:2-3: “Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it. 3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end, it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.) Whenever you feel like you are succumbing to peer pressure revisit your goals and vision statement.

Our Surroundings and company

Check who you have been spending time with, how they are influencing your decisions, and the societal norms that you are expected to maintain. Setting goals helps with putting some boundaries in place to avoid disruption to your vision. Ps Michael Todd says, “Boundaries are one of the things that God uses to help us reach the purpose.” Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. (Proverbs 4:23). Learn to set boundaries to evade wrong influences into your heart. This will assist with resisting the peer pressure, especially when it is self-inflicted pressure.

Reflections

Have you ever made a decision and later questioned yourself if you made the right decision? How has what appeared to be delays affected what you believed about the future? What undue pressure have you given yourself in recent times? Have you set boundaries for yourself? Do you let people do as they please in your life? Do you have a challenge with peer pressure? How often do you revisit your goals?

Mrs. Dash

Special thanks to the You are worthy” page for permitting us to use this article. https://bit.ly/2Fwae9F